Ask Escargoancitizen!

((So apparently today is Kyle’s birthday so HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU CLASSY INTELLECTUAL SNAIL BOY YOU

Oh and also I just want to say 1) sorry for still being dead and 2) that there’s still at least 80 of you who follow an askblog on a talking suit-wearing snail. And that’s cool. You all deserve cake.

- Mod))

flame2ashes:

‘Cause everyone needs a waving snail on their bl- wait.

(via flame2ashes)

Source: flame2ashes

UGH, out of all days I had to wake up to, it was today.

*Sigh* I apologize, dear viewers. Let me just…prepare myself, then I can answer your questions.

Geese? Well, it’s best to say that they’re awful and bitter creatures.

Of course, the perspective of geese can be different when compared between a human’s and a snail’s.

A few days ago, however, I did encounter a goose. It was very unusual considering the season.

….For some reason, I find it very ironic that it was a Canadian Goose.

Actually, I already am a magical snail.

…In a sense.

askthattartblender:

ask-escargoancitizen:

*Looks at Tart* Um…
Well, Tart, it took some time (and a bit of prodding from Hermitcrabthenian) to be able to tell you this, so I guess I should just say it now.
Tart… *Deep inhale*
I THINK YOU’RE SWEET
YOU’RE THE NICEST BLENDER I’VE EVER MET
I REALLY LIKE YOU
….
Uh, did I say that out loud?

I…I…you do??

Ya…ya like me? Like, like me, like me?

*receives nervous nod*

Well…I like you too!!! I…

I’ve had da biggest crush on you ever since I talked t’ya in Silent Hill, and ya tried on dat mustache (not the creepy one dat hit on the lounge singer) and ya looked so…well, anyway, it made me realize dat even wit’out the mustache, yer the classiest, kindest, intell’gentest, handsomest guy I evah met, an’ who cares ‘f you’re a snail an’ I’m a blender, we can make it work, right?

*realizes what she just said, and backs away a little*

*she would be looking down embarassedly, but she’s a blender*

Hmm…

Tart, why don’t we spend Christmas together?

Source: ask-escargoancitizen

*Looks at Tart* Um…
Well, Tart, it took some time (and a bit of prodding from Hermitcrabthenian) to be able to tell you this, so I guess I should just say it now.
Tart… *Deep inhale*
I THINK YOU’RE SWEET
YOU’RE THE NICEST BLENDER I’VE EVER MET
I REALLY LIKE YOU
….
Uh, did I say that out loud?

askhermitcrabthenian:

ask-escargoancitizen:

askhermitcrabthenian:

ask-escargoancitizen:

H-HOW DID YOU-

*Ahem* W-well, yes, but hear me out.

Some person came up to me and apparently Bird Brain told her that someone had a crush on me and it turns out that it was Tart.

So, well….how do I respond? I mean, considering I kinda like her too…

I have spies everywhere… >8D

Well, if you like her too, what the hell do you need me for dude?

The reason is…well…we haven’t known each other for a while. After all, we met back in Silent Hill, and that was only two months ago. It’s all going by really quick.

….Should I go for it? Should I tell her that I like her?

Look, I don’t know relationship things. I don’t get them. She likes you, you like her. What’s the problem? Though she’s a blender, how does she even move or speak…

The point is, go talk to her! -shoves-

Wh- *shoved* Okay, okay! *Starts slithering towards Tart*

Source: ask-escargoancitizen

askhermitcrabthenian:

ask-escargoancitizen:

H-HOW DID YOU-

*Ahem* W-well, yes, but hear me out.

Some person came up to me and apparently Bird Brain told her that someone had a crush on me and it turns out that it was Tart.

So, well….how do I respond? I mean, considering I kinda like her too…

I have spies everywhere… >8D

Well, if you like her too, what the hell do you need me for dude?

The reason is…well…we haven’t known each other for a while. After all, we met back in Silent Hill, and that was only two months ago. It’s all going by really quick.

….Should I go for it? Should I tell her that I like her?

Source: ask-escargoancitizen

Now’s not the best time to give me a burger, but thanks anyway.

…Wait, I’m a snail; can I actually eat this?

…Oh well, no harm in trying it.

…

BLUH!

That was VILE. What was in that!?